Okay, I will have to admit that I had a hard time writing about the first Transformers movie, and I figured out why: I liked it. For some reason, it is harder to write about something you like, but it is so easy to tear a film you hate a new one. This is exactly what I intend to do with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, undoubtedly the worst film of the series.

I believe that the fault of Transformers 2 lies with a writer’s strike that happened at the time of its release. This writer’s strike killed some good things, like Pushing Daisies, and that makes it twice that I have brought it up. I’ll have to review it some day. Anyway, I’m told that the screenwriters only had two weeks to come up with a script, and I believe that once it was done, it probably wasn’t changed much. It could have used a few more drafts.

I heard that this film was bad before I saw it, and when I chance to see it, something strange happened. For some reason, I felt intense hate on the first shot of the film. This has never happened with any film that I have ever seen, but this film just kept doing stupid things.

The plot involves the idea that the Transformers had been on Earth before, which, by the way, is one of many retcons established in this film series that just never, never quits. Apparently, there is an evil Transformer known as The Fallen who seems to have just come out of nowhere and wants to destroy the sun to get energy.

I think believe that this is what passes for plot in this film. Oh yeah, and Sam goes to college. He also gets infected by a shard of the Allspark, and this causes him to become smart. He then discovers some secret information, and then Megatron comes after him. Oh wait, didn’t he die in the first one? Well, they bring him back to life. Then Optimus Prime saves Sam, and he dies. Guess what happens?

Yeah, there isn’t much good going on in this film. In fact, I think this film just decided to use its worst shot in any given scene. For example, in a car chase, a few seconds are devoted to showing fear on Sam’s roommate, who probably has a name, but I don’t remember it.

Speaking of roommates, the film wants to show a Decepticon spy in the form of a hot babe. What dumb, dumb, dumb idea made for that scene for when the hot babe seduces the man, only to have the man’s significant other walk in. This was in no way inspired by the original toys or television show.

Oh, did I mention the two robot characters that everyone thinks are racist? Oh, I don’t have to, because everyone on the Internet has.

Also, and this is a criticism of the first film, but apparently the government was able to keep the Transformers secret after the huge battle scene at the end of the first film in downtown L.A. In this film, the secret is out so why introduce that element anyway? Stupid.

Yeah, I see no reason to summarize this film with any other word, and I would highly suggest you avoid it, period.