I’m going to come out and say that I am going to steal a comment I heard from the Nostalgia Critic and say that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been done too many times. This isn’t like Superman, or Batman, who has been around since the thirties. I can understand those reboots, but the Turtles franchise has only been out since the early eighties.

It began as a comic book that was black and white and had a very gritty look to it. Then it was made into a cartoon in the late eighties, and three live-action films in the nineties (the third almost killing the franchise). Then Turtles: The Next Mutation came about in the mid-nineties, and a grittier cartoon at the beginning of the millennium. Then there was the CG movie in the last decade, followed by a CG series on Nickelodeon. Now this 2014 movie produced by the one-and-only Michael Bay, which means their origin and character development has gone through multiple versions in recent years.

I see no reason to blast on Michael Bay as everyone on the Internet already has. Next month, I’m planning on reviewing all the Transformers films, which he directed. I will talk about his style, and how that in spite of the hatred, he still gets projects, and does his best with them. In other words, I won’t hold anything against this film because Michael Bay serves as the executive producer.

This film still isn’t very good, and part of it is the fact that it has been done before. This time, the turtles are CG, and they look a little wide on the shoulders, kind of like the antiheroes of nineties comic books. I suppose it is to show that they have “attitude”, but I’m not certain I welcome this change. Speaking of change, I heard that in the original screenplay for this film, the Turtles were to be aliens, or some other odd origin change. I’m sure that fan outcry changed that.

Still, Megan Fox got cast as the iconic April O’Neil, who helps out the Ninja Turtles. The film changes the origin so that O’Neil is the original owner of the turtles before they were mutated. It is an interesting way of tying her into the plot, and I must admit that April does a good job standing up for herself without the Turtles. April is investigating something when she discovers these reptile quartet, but she can’t get her boss or her partner to believe her. At least Will Arnett shows up as her partner Vern, he is so funny that he’s welcome here.

Of course, you can’t have a Turtles movie without the Shredder. I actually heard that William Fichtner was cast in this role, but fans cried out against this, as the Shredder would not be played by an Asian. There are re-filmed scenes with Fichtner and the new Asian actor, but for the most part, Shredder is as CG as the Turtles. At least, he looks CG. The Shredder has the ability to fire blades from his hands and then attract them back. It is kind of neat, but this feels like a rip-off of both Wolverine mixed with Magneto.

The plot is about Fichtner’s character infecting New York City with a poison so he can make billions selling the antidote. It is pretty dumb.

What makes this Turtles film different is how the Turtles are fighting in locations where they normally have not gone in the past. For example, there is a scene where they are fighting on a snowy mountain, and it is very intense. The ending scene where they fight on top of a skyscraper is also done in broad daylight, when Turtles usually fight at night. I’m not certain whether or not I support them breaking tradition with these fight scenes, but it kind of works.

Sadly, “it kind of works” is the best review I can give a film such as this. Of course, that is never good, and I can’t say that I recommend this film. I can’t say that I utterly hate it either, as I believe the people who were involved in the project were doing the best they could possibly do with this. Still, any film associated with an already popular franchise is going to be a “cash-in”, as simple as that.